Sunday, April 22, 2012
what more can I say
There are times when at the right moment you will hear a story that rings down to your soul. There are times when just the right words are placed in your memory forever. There are times when what you hear rings so true that it makes you silent and perhaps cry. These moments have been finding their intrusive way into my life lately. This current trip I am on in the big apple has done more to solidify what I already know. The conversations I've eavesdropped and engaged in from a distance have provided an incredible insight into this little world of mine that I want to write. I had a lot of thoughts floating in my head but they have went to a secret place that I am unable to reach now but this line stands out. 'Your spirit is totally completely different from my own and that's OK.'
Perhaps tomorrow or some other time before I return back home this profound experience will return and I can write about what I feel.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Brooklyn.....again
So I'm here once again in the BK. The love building is walking distance...the sounds of everyday people tap the windows below. Engines roar, food simmers, drinks are poured laughs are shared.....good times are rolling. But there is only one on my mind....love.
Love for me has come in many shapes and forms yet the love I desire has become a strange fruit that I am unsure how to get at it. I have noted every experience in hopes that the moment or the notification is recorded when love breaks forth in my life. Let me make some sense...I'm sick right now because love has decided to grant me a pass and I am scared speechless. Its like how can four letters identify with everything everyone every where
Well I want to say more but sleep calls..
Love for me has come in many shapes and forms yet the love I desire has become a strange fruit that I am unsure how to get at it. I have noted every experience in hopes that the moment or the notification is recorded when love breaks forth in my life. Let me make some sense...I'm sick right now because love has decided to grant me a pass and I am scared speechless. Its like how can four letters identify with everything everyone every where
Well I want to say more but sleep calls..
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Sleep Deprived
It is 7 25a.m. where I am. I have been woke for 27 hours and have been having a time that I will
remember for the rest of my days. I am in the company of the better half of my family. The blood between this brood is as similar as it gets. The time shared so far has been out of this world. Looking forward to the day.......I need to rest, for real.
remember for the rest of my days. I am in the company of the better half of my family. The blood between this brood is as similar as it gets. The time shared so far has been out of this world. Looking forward to the day.......I need to rest, for real.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Here we go
So it's been decided by my frends that I should note my work experience. Because of the incredible distaste I have for my job, perhaps writing about it will clear my head. So let's start how I got here.
In 2010 I was unemployed because I resigned from my call center position. Not the greatest job, but I had to leave. I have some things that I stand for and equality is high on the list. So after weeks of searching, I joined a employment service that landed me the interview for the current job I have. Before accepting the interview the employment specialist asked me If I really wanted the job because I could do so much better and she could definitely find me something better, but I resigned because I needed to work. So work started, transition started and I eventually remained in the bookstore. This is where the drama begins.
I work in one of Chicago's airport (the smaller one) which means I have face to face contact with the traveling public. While this is not the problem instead the behavior of the traveling public is what I struggle to understand. Initially I have questions of the questions asked of me daily.
We open @ 5 am not 4 51, not 4 55, but 5 am. So wait. If the li'ghts are off and the gate is lowered that is usually a sign that we are not open for business, so don't ask what time we open....read the signs posted in clear view.
"Where's your nearest restroom?" This one is the best. My first response is this (thought I don't say it) It's probably close to the sign that says RESTROOM. Or, my closest rest room is in my bedroom since I don't own the airport restrooms. But I digress and respond they're on either side of the concourse... READ THE SIGNS.
This next one gets me the most. From a first look into the bookstore there are books galore, and because of the space there are just books no hidden magazine racks, no hidden water cooler, no hidden newspaper stand, but still they peek in and look around towards the rear of the store for the secret stash of the aforementioned. WE SELL BOOKS, BOOKS AND BOOKS!!!
Now before you say I am being hard on the general public and should allow for the common question and be more courteous, let me remind the reader, the bookstore is next door to the newsstand which sells nearly everything you need in an airport, including some books. So to that I'd like to offer my other response which comes off as me being a smart ass, we don't sell that but the 'NEWSSTAND NEXT DOOR DOES' Now my managers and supervisors would rather you answer every stupid question with a certain level of joy and employ the stupid notion of being 'a travelers best friend, wtf is that? I am a traveler and do not assume the working class people in the airport are my best friends so let's be realistic. I also do not think answering the same question hundreds of time a day should be bothersome if there were no signs posted, but there are signs everywhere, it's ths airport people, wake up, look up, think before you ask and read the signs...
I could go on but I think you get the point.
My next issue is that because I am still at this job for only God knows why because I am actively pursing a better gig in line with my education, I am quite ashamed of the position, the pay rate and the management team responsible for making decisons on the associates behalf. I am ashamed that I have a writing degree from the country's largest Liberal Arts Collge and am working here, struggling to care for my family, pay all my bills and maintain a level of mental staiblity that keeps me from fighting with these so called 'best friends' of mine, it is heavy on me and damnnit I'm mad. But being mad does not change anything, so here is where I write.
I work for and with people of ignorance and the type of ignorance that does not want change. I work with people that have held ths job without a union, without a voice for years and have not created the change they would like to see, instead they talk amongst themsleves afraid to trump the General Manager. He is but a figure a poor one at that, but still a figure that we all know does not stand with his staff and will throw them under the bus to save his own ass. He is incompetent and lacks the confidence to speak up instead he hides behind his title and send the ladies to do the dirty work. Again someone would argue that I don't understand and try walking a day in his shoes and to you I say, he has a choice like we all do and the choices that affect us should be weighed more carefully.
Lastly I will state that if we want change we have to create change and this is my effort to add to the solution not the problem. I do not enjoy at all the place where I work I do not at all enjoy the time spent in time with the people I work with, save for a few . But more than that I am ashamed to be here for I feel like my life has value and meaning I'm a human being dammnit. (not my own words) I matter and yes I am better than this. I am so much better....so why am I still here suffering with depression and rage, shame and pain?
In 2010 I was unemployed because I resigned from my call center position. Not the greatest job, but I had to leave. I have some things that I stand for and equality is high on the list. So after weeks of searching, I joined a employment service that landed me the interview for the current job I have. Before accepting the interview the employment specialist asked me If I really wanted the job because I could do so much better and she could definitely find me something better, but I resigned because I needed to work. So work started, transition started and I eventually remained in the bookstore. This is where the drama begins.
I work in one of Chicago's airport (the smaller one) which means I have face to face contact with the traveling public. While this is not the problem instead the behavior of the traveling public is what I struggle to understand. Initially I have questions of the questions asked of me daily.
We open @ 5 am not 4 51, not 4 55, but 5 am. So wait. If the li'ghts are off and the gate is lowered that is usually a sign that we are not open for business, so don't ask what time we open....read the signs posted in clear view.
"Where's your nearest restroom?" This one is the best. My first response is this (thought I don't say it) It's probably close to the sign that says RESTROOM. Or, my closest rest room is in my bedroom since I don't own the airport restrooms. But I digress and respond they're on either side of the concourse... READ THE SIGNS.
This next one gets me the most. From a first look into the bookstore there are books galore, and because of the space there are just books no hidden magazine racks, no hidden water cooler, no hidden newspaper stand, but still they peek in and look around towards the rear of the store for the secret stash of the aforementioned. WE SELL BOOKS, BOOKS AND BOOKS!!!
Now before you say I am being hard on the general public and should allow for the common question and be more courteous, let me remind the reader, the bookstore is next door to the newsstand which sells nearly everything you need in an airport, including some books. So to that I'd like to offer my other response which comes off as me being a smart ass, we don't sell that but the 'NEWSSTAND NEXT DOOR DOES' Now my managers and supervisors would rather you answer every stupid question with a certain level of joy and employ the stupid notion of being 'a travelers best friend, wtf is that? I am a traveler and do not assume the working class people in the airport are my best friends so let's be realistic. I also do not think answering the same question hundreds of time a day should be bothersome if there were no signs posted, but there are signs everywhere, it's ths airport people, wake up, look up, think before you ask and read the signs...
I could go on but I think you get the point.
My next issue is that because I am still at this job for only God knows why because I am actively pursing a better gig in line with my education, I am quite ashamed of the position, the pay rate and the management team responsible for making decisons on the associates behalf. I am ashamed that I have a writing degree from the country's largest Liberal Arts Collge and am working here, struggling to care for my family, pay all my bills and maintain a level of mental staiblity that keeps me from fighting with these so called 'best friends' of mine, it is heavy on me and damnnit I'm mad. But being mad does not change anything, so here is where I write.
I work for and with people of ignorance and the type of ignorance that does not want change. I work with people that have held ths job without a union, without a voice for years and have not created the change they would like to see, instead they talk amongst themsleves afraid to trump the General Manager. He is but a figure a poor one at that, but still a figure that we all know does not stand with his staff and will throw them under the bus to save his own ass. He is incompetent and lacks the confidence to speak up instead he hides behind his title and send the ladies to do the dirty work. Again someone would argue that I don't understand and try walking a day in his shoes and to you I say, he has a choice like we all do and the choices that affect us should be weighed more carefully.
Lastly I will state that if we want change we have to create change and this is my effort to add to the solution not the problem. I do not enjoy at all the place where I work I do not at all enjoy the time spent in time with the people I work with, save for a few . But more than that I am ashamed to be here for I feel like my life has value and meaning I'm a human being dammnit. (not my own words) I matter and yes I am better than this. I am so much better....so why am I still here suffering with depression and rage, shame and pain?
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