Confessions

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." James 5:16 kjv

I confess I have given people the benefit of the doubt perhaps more than they deserve. I have believed in the words of man and have thought that having Christ in one's life has meaning. I have believed that there is nothing in life that God cannot change. I have also believed that healing is for all. I believe that the God I serve, (the almighty) is absolutely NOT a man that He should lie or the son of man that He should repent. In that, we are not God, we are and will always come short of His glory. I recognize my own errors and know that I truly am NOTHING without God. I know that because I care, I am susceptible to hurt. I have been hurt by another follower of Christ. My actions have caused me to be rejected and condemned. THANK God that He is not like man. Because I have allowed this seed to grow into an ugly weed, I must tear it down.
To you who were allowed to hurt me, I forgive you. To you who lied to me and told me I mattered when you knew I meant nothing to you, I forgive you. To you who led me to believe in love, I forgive you.
Father in the name of your son Jesus, I thank you for the gift of life you have given me. I thank you there is no pain on earth that heaven cannot heal. I thank you that there is none on earth that will ever, ever, ever be enough. I am thankful that your love sent Jesus. I am thankful for your new daily mercies. I am thankful for your sufficient grace. I ask that you forgive me for putting my trust in man. I confess I have walked in error and acknowledge that my sin is always before me. Against you and you only have I sinned and done this evil in your sight. Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean. I thank you that I know without any doubt that I have forgiveness because of Jesus. I know and thank you that you are faithful and just to forgive. I ask you Lord to heal my heart, to keep me because I desire to be kept. I ask that I never fall again for the spirit of deception and only follow your voice.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thine own understanding. I receive forgiveness in the name above every other name, Jesus, I pray.

"WHOA Neg, what are you talking about? What is going on in that head of yours?" Her best friend asked as she read her blog on the train. "I have to call her and see what's going on." Don't bother, the Lord is the love of my life. He had made me glad, His love for me is unconditional. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. It is in Him that I live, move and have my being.

The Healer

I am so very thankful for everything in life that has brought me to this very point. I am thankful for the peaceful sleep that only comes from the Father. I am thankful for the spirit of truth that really does guide us into all truth. I am thankful that the things I have encountered in life have not taken me out, have not taken the sanity of mind I enjoy. Have you ever just sat and thought back over your life and know that only the true and living God could have kept you? I have and do often. There are so many blessings he has given me and when I think back, I am in total awe. I am thankful for this very technology to express my thoughts. I am thankful for my family as crazy as we are, I am still thankful for you all. I am thankful that I am coherent and mobile and can stand up straight and have a able body. I am thankful for speech, sight, sound, feel and taste. Who else could think to give us five senses instead of four or six? Who else knows the dynamics of the human body and its balance, nobody but God. I am thankful for creativity and structure and rules and boundaries and also the liberty of my faith. I am thankful to be able to read His word and want more and want to know it like a scholar. I am thankful for the power of prayer. I am thankful that He loves me so much that He sent Jesus to die for me, as unfaithful and just plain wrong that I am, he still came for me. He blessed my womb, he blessed my life with children. His grace is abundant, His love is unspeakable. I am thankful that He did not let me die in my sin, what kind of love is this? He allowed me to go through all these things so I can give Him glory and know that I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus.
Yes this list is endless, I had to share this. God really is a healer. 8-21/2-18 YES HE IS A HEALER.
My prayer today is as it is everyday, Thine will be done, lead me and guide me...

New Life

'We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.' Romans 6:4 NIV

Happy Birth Day to Me. Today I received purification through baptism. Today I was immersed in the waters of life and am now a part of the great family of believers before and with me who have made a public profession of faith. I belong to God. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who stood and will stand with me to accomplish the work of the Kingdom. No greater moment in my life compares to today. I have a date, I have a moment, I have a memory and now I have an eternal hope that I belong to God. Today I got baptized signifying years of wandering and sinning without true conversion to become a bona fide believer. Along with another brother we demonstrated our faith and what a beautiful ceremony. I am personally accountable for EVERYTHING that I do. Watch out world

Really

Pain, pain go away Why did you come back, are you here to stay, again?
As has been the story of my life. By design I have avoided anything similar to love. After the one chance that I got that ended bittersweet, I simply gave up. I believed that my heart would never open up to give or receive love. Lately like the fool that I have always been with matters of the heart, I opened up and started to simply believe. Tried to imagine life shared and not have to direct its course. I was completely caught off guard and tried to manage it but its power is beyond my strength. As quickly as the weather can go from hot to cold in the city is as quickly as love laughed at me. Love reminded me that I am not invited to share its bliss. Love told me explicitly that 'Today is not your day and tomorrow does not look good either.' But love, you told me I could come to your world. You said you were sent from heaven just for me and that all I had to do was believe. What happened love, why, how can you pretend that you were for me? How can it be shared between every opposite in creation, but not for me?
So I stepped back, giving love the space to completely overwhelm me and never ever miss me again. Love stepped back, love was never this close, love has said goodbye.....again???

To love, I say, no love, no more, nothing