Monday, March 29, 2010

Thinking

So much to be thankful for. The gift of the Holy Spirit has blessed my family in a very special way and I will never forget the day March 21, 2010. Also the road will be handled by yet another teenage driver.....
There are so many good things going on right now. I know that I am getting into a new place in Christ that will be full of new experiences, yet I am comforted by His peace, knowing that I am never alone and that He is with me always.
I have been thinking a lot about blogging, fashion, parenting, relationships and the like. I have an incredible opportunity ahead of me that if it goes well, will improve the quality of my life. This decision will definitely effect the list above in a way unknown to me. There will be moments where some of the cares of life will become less of a burden and obstacles will be a opportunity for peace. I am nervous at the idea of being in the position to impact the lives of others, but isn't that the point?
I feel that after nine years, I am ready to move on.

Yes this entry seems frazzled but at least its something new to think about

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A fresh wind

'Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you."' Hebrews 13:5 NIV

This is my message to you. I heard something today at church today that hit me. 'If I knew the extenent to which the sin we are in is, it makes what Christ did for us that much more greater.' Amazing! I have struggled over the last few weeks or months over the question of my salvation, and today I heard back from the Lord. Imagine this.....
He in his loving power will NEVER condemn us, he condemned his Son even unto death for us! Me, unworthy of anything that He gives, still He will not condemn me, what kind of love is this?

I spent the last week in limbo, unsure which way to go or how to go wherever I was headed. I prayed, did all that seemed right, yet inside I needed to hear from Him. Not only did He hear me, but He chose to answer me. Thank you Father! Get ready for the 'new wind' in my life! God is about to do a new thing in me and I am so glad.

The path of solitude has remained imminent, because I have and am continually learning that we must walk in agreement. In every relationship in life there has to be some level of agreement, even if to disagree. There are some decisons that have to be made and some people that will have to be seperated from where I am going in God. I am on a journey that requires I walk with Him in truth. I have been blessed to have had the experiences in my life that have not overwhelmed me. I have taken note as best as I can on every 'what if' imaginable and all those questions have led me back here. This is the place where it really matters. This is the time to walk in maturity in Christ, to stand firm on His word, to hold on to his unchanged hands.

Lord I desire more of you
Teach me your ways
Help me to totally trust in you and lean not to my own understanding
Use me for your glory
Call me friend......

Monday, March 1, 2010

Am I Saved

Yes, you read it right. I am asking the question, Am I saved? Why? Because my salvation has been assumed, presumed and directed. It has become very clear over the last months that I have simply become accustomed to doing as I was told....without any clear moment of conversion. I grew up in the church, in fact it is the only institution I am completely and utterly committed to. Naturally every step taken has been carefully guided by my family, preachers and teacher alike, all with my expected consent. This past weekend I was faced with the question..."AM I SAVED?" My answer will be found here.
It is my desire to discover the truth in my life without being told what and how to live the Christian Life. Yes I am thankful for the upbringing that has kept me in the safety net of the church, but there is something I am seeking beyond the border of the physical temple. I now know that a change has not taken place independently in my life that I can recall to announce my conversion, I have simply did as I was told.

This I want no more of. I want to know God for myself. So today I took the first steps, I confessed every sin that came to mind (a very long tear-filled list) and asked for forgiveness. In the midst of my tears, I was told to reconcile relationships with three VIPs in my life, so far all is well. One more hurdle to cross. I plan to share this journey here and discover what I have talked about my entire life but never truly experienced.....right relationship with Christ.