Monday, July 12, 2010

A few years ago


So here it is, mission accomplished. After the birth of Venus, I created a logo combining the names of my children. Yesterday, I crossed over, my defense system broke and collapsed and I could no longer resist its call. I tried to tell myself this won’t manifest and that the proven addictive effect will not happen to me. I will not be on the street hanging around looking for some man to pierce my skin/rip my flesh; no that will not be me. But instead, I tried it and truth be told, I liked it. My artist, let’s call him “dude” treated me like the fiend I was sure to become. “On your knees and lean forward” I instantly thought of the many times I’ve assumed this position with the same fear, “don’t hurt me” and like all the others it was over within minutes. I chose my leg, an area that’s as discreet as my armpits and let him pierce, probe and label me, thereby inducing me into a part of a community of millions that deem this ritual important. The needle hit my dark flesh and as my blood bursts through I was hooked, trapped in a place of anxiety and excitement all at once, until it overtook me and set me free or forever bound me. He pulled away and showed me the door. I thanked him, attempting to make eye contact, looking for something in this lost soul that would connect and leave a lasting impression, but it didn’t work. He told me I was welcome and called the next girl in. In a disillusioned aura I stumbled out and faced my two remaining seeds, and my bloodslut, seeing the curiosity in their faces. “Let me see” they all asked. I felt my confidence shrink like a prune, all my juices dried up and I wanted more. Just that quick, I was in, there is text on my skin…jerleelsie