Sometimes

Recently I have been listening to "Sometimes" by Bilal. In case you're unfamiliar, he uses the word "sometimes" as a catch phrase to state some concerns in a beautiful melody. I heard this song and have listened to it every day for the last two weeks. I have a moment to pay homage to this tune as I "sometimes" have questions on my own of myself and of others....

SOMETIMES...I wish I wasn't so naive, I knew how to let go, I still had the life of Sierra. I wish I could love truly and deeply. I wish he loved me enough to stay forever. I wish I didn't cut my hair. I wish I had perfect health. I were more social. I don't have to always wait for everything while others stride through life. I want to hear "Yes, Negetarian, we would love to have you." I heard "Congratulations, welcome home to the apple, we're so glad you're here, sit down stay a while." The money I've given out really does come back 100 fold. I were debt-free. My two children live to see forever. I live a good life that doesn't have duality. That Big son can smile in confidence. I want to be able to afford to splurge every now and then on my family. Visit every continent. I were better to Him sometimes. Sometimes I wish I knew the truth about my family and came clean about my own suffering. I could have a drink to take the pain away. I had no stretch marks. I had very nice teeth and hazel eyes....sometimes. Wrote a book and it became a nytimes bestseller, wouldn't that be nice. Sometimes that I waited to give my treasure away before marriage. Bore no shame of my identity. I could sew, sing and play guitar...lol.
Sometimes that I didn't have to itemize my life

New Year, of course

So like most of you, I felt the urge to proclaim certain tasks I will follow through in the arrival of the new year. At the vert last hour of the last day of 2009, I officially withdrew from my job. Not physically, but mentally. I have witnessed a lot of changes made at work that have not worked in my favor and instead of giving a well deserved response, I choose to not allow it to get the best of me.....literally. With that being stated, (for the first and last time) I move on to more important matters....HAPPY NEW, HOLY, PROSPEROUS, HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!! We made it! HALLELUJAH!! Yes, 2009 had a lot of challenges, but doesn't every year? It is the overcoming of those challenges that gives room for joy and celebration. I faced a lot of challenges with relationships and decisions and am victorious. I expanded my client base and am so very thankful to God for blessing me. This may seem extremely self-centered, but I have a lot to be grateful for. The most important gifts, I get daily......forgiveness, mercy and grace and the joy of salvation. I want to grow closer to God in a way that astounds me, in a way that is as His word says......beyond what I can ask or think. I desire to be in a place where I am available to be used, where everything about me changes, and I am no longer the same. Perhaps this seems like a resolution of some sort, or a lists....whatever you want to call it, it is a statement of truth. I believe I have found a church home where I can grow and be effective in the body of Christ. I also desire more patience with life and what it will bring. Yes I want to lose weight, commit to blogging, get a masters degree, learn French and Arabic, leave the country, go to Africa, heal the world......all those good things. I want to LIVE! I want to LAUGH! I want to LOVE!
am i asking for too much?

Here's to forgetting those things that are behind....pressing towards the things which are ahead.